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The intensive loneliness course.

The intensive loneliness course.

Upon stepping onto my journey of self-discovery and perfection, I found myself on the outs with majority of people close to me. They could not understand the urgency of my obsession, why did I need somebody to share my life with? They thought that I was searching for my other half, for something that was missing to be whole again, and it sure started out that way – until I faced the truth that I need to be whole in order to be whole with someone else.

Upon the journey of becoming a whole and an individual I have faced an overwhelming amount of negative emotions. The most cruel and debilitating of them all was loneliness.
To paint the picture of the intensity that loneliness manifests as I described it as “…the heart still loves. It’s open and it’s bleeding out. It’s leaking pain and hemorrhaging love; love and pain so closely intertwined”

My obsession with the one: You Are What You Attract.

his seems to be the most simple of the rules - you are what you attract. If you find yourself complaining that you never seem to be attracting good dating prospects or all the good ones are taken - what does that mean to you?
If you are what you attract, then if all the good ones are taken, does that make you the bad one?
If all your dating prospects have commitment issues, why do you think it's only them?

Early on I've asked myself a question: if I am a good person why am I unhappy?

Back then I just got out of a string of bad relationships: a narcissist, a sociopathic liar followed by a relapsed alcoholic with a borderline personality disorder (who blamed me for his relapse). I started pondering upon the quote "you are what you attract" so if I keep on attracting these men, what's my pattern? The answer was - I found these men psychologically appealing.