Pattern

Emotional addict in a relationship world.

Emotional addict in a relationship world.

As a woman and I have coached clients who still believe into over the top, emotional passionate love. I am all for it, if emotions and passion [read hormones] are not the only ones governing the relationship.

One of the most surprising discoveries, that many singles find shocking is that couples that have those stable, functional, committed relationships – love each other tenderly, however they are rather balanced, easy-going, calm and from afar appear dull and almost emotionless. No, they are not lacking emotions - they do get mad, they feel joy and sometimes even argue; however, it all happens sans drama and with mutual respect and understanding.

The intensive loneliness course.

The intensive loneliness course.

Upon stepping onto my journey of self-discovery and perfection, I found myself on the outs with majority of people close to me. They could not understand the urgency of my obsession, why did I need somebody to share my life with? They thought that I was searching for my other half, for something that was missing to be whole again, and it sure started out that way – until I faced the truth that I need to be whole in order to be whole with someone else.

Upon the journey of becoming a whole and an individual I have faced an overwhelming amount of negative emotions. The most cruel and debilitating of them all was loneliness.
To paint the picture of the intensity that loneliness manifests as I described it as “…the heart still loves. It’s open and it’s bleeding out. It’s leaking pain and hemorrhaging love; love and pain so closely intertwined”

My Obsession with The One: Growth

My Obsession with The One: Growth

Let me be the one to tell you about beauty and ruggedness of growth.
Growth is a beautiful thing! It’s amazing, it’s transforming. It’s authentic and it’s raw! It’s a wall of safeguard and at the same time it’s pure vulnerability. It can hurt like hell and it can hurt beautifully. It can heal through it’s divinity and it can comfort with realization that no mater where and who you are - you’re safe and perfect as you are!

Boundaries
When I set out on my journey I knew who I wanted to become. I saw the healthy and happy woman with her amazing soulmate. I had a rough idea where I was. I saw the gap between the two personas and I got to work in filling the gap. Very soon through books and guidance I quickly came to a conclusion that where I thought  I was and where I really was had another enormous gap between it. That’s when things have tumbled down.

My obsession with the one: Real Men

Labels and Masks
Hipster, metrosexual, lumbersexual, pansexual, sapiosexual, asexual... we can all pretty much imagine how each of these partners would look, sound and feel. Personality, sexuality and aesthetics are so diverse in our surroundings. Which one is in? Which is more popular? Which one will get you laid? Which one gets you a long-term partnership?
I see all of the above as labels. When you put on a label, you pigeonhole yourself within that label, to conform, relate or identify. Labels are masks. 

We create labels to stereotype and expedite the process of selection. It’s time efficient to write off a hipster, assigning him a whole bunch of traits he may not even have and move on, possibly missing out on a greatest connection of your life.
These labels and masks create a specific level of demand, and men conform driven by their most basic need, as a hunter, to reproduce. Ooh - prey. Get woman now. Camouflage - get woman!
Women have their masks too. Most of them choose their own way of becoming prey, and some of them take on a role of a hunter. In our society we have blurred the line of masculine and feminine, which tampers with polarity in couples, as there is confusion regarding which role to play.

What if it is not a fight?

A story of significance for my Date with Destiny friends.

Over the course of Date With Destiny the topic of significance kept on popping up across the board. We as a culture seem to be infected with the need for significance and the spotlight on ourselves seems to be the only remedy that works.

This week I have been more of a selfish asshole, basking in my own significance, than I have ever been outside the walls of Palm Springs Convention Center. I allowed myself to let loose and immerse to the point of irritating trainers, leaders, my teammates and complete strangers.

Hmmm… something to think about. Good thing I was the only one who struggled with this, right?

I came to Date With Destiny with a gnawing feeling that something was off. I knew that I was not aligned with myself and I couldn’t comprehend what it was. On the second day, one of the trainers helped me through my breakdown and turned it into a breakthrough. That unnamed monster, haunting me, happened to be residual leftover victim mentality that had me feeling trapped and quite significant.