Online dating

Emotional addict in a relationship world.

Emotional addict in a relationship world.

As a woman and I have coached clients who still believe into over the top, emotional passionate love. I am all for it, if emotions and passion [read hormones] are not the only ones governing the relationship.

One of the most surprising discoveries, that many singles find shocking is that couples that have those stable, functional, committed relationships – love each other tenderly, however they are rather balanced, easy-going, calm and from afar appear dull and almost emotionless. No, they are not lacking emotions - they do get mad, they feel joy and sometimes even argue; however, it all happens sans drama and with mutual respect and understanding.

My obsession with the one: Real Men

Labels and Masks
Hipster, metrosexual, lumbersexual, pansexual, sapiosexual, asexual... we can all pretty much imagine how each of these partners would look, sound and feel. Personality, sexuality and aesthetics are so diverse in our surroundings. Which one is in? Which is more popular? Which one will get you laid? Which one gets you a long-term partnership?
I see all of the above as labels. When you put on a label, you pigeonhole yourself within that label, to conform, relate or identify. Labels are masks. 

We create labels to stereotype and expedite the process of selection. It’s time efficient to write off a hipster, assigning him a whole bunch of traits he may not even have and move on, possibly missing out on a greatest connection of your life.
These labels and masks create a specific level of demand, and men conform driven by their most basic need, as a hunter, to reproduce. Ooh - prey. Get woman now. Camouflage - get woman!
Women have their masks too. Most of them choose their own way of becoming prey, and some of them take on a role of a hunter. In our society we have blurred the line of masculine and feminine, which tampers with polarity in couples, as there is confusion regarding which role to play.

My obsession with the one: Online Dating

Online dating has grown into 2 Billion dollar industry and has been increasing its market share by 5% each year. It is very fascinating to me considering how many people I know for whom online dating simply did not work.
Back in my dating years I've tried many dating sites: e-harmony, Okc, match… I've tried outlets of spiritual dating sites and cultural as well...
How do you think I've met my soulmate? Speed Dating! As in 5 minutes, in person. In reality - that's all you really need.

Needs/Wants
One of the biggest problems I see with online dating is filters. We are expected to state our preferences in choosing a partner. Thus, we end up stating who we want, yet most of us have no clue who we actually need!
This was one of the biggest problems for me. One time I got exactly what I thought I needed and that relationship fizzled rather quickly. When we choose traits, physical features and other criteria we miss out on a whole myriad of other values because you cannot quantify good heart and soul (as cheesy as it sounds).