A simple story of self-care.
One day I was washing my hair and I've noticed that my shampoo was almost out. I went out and bought myself a new set. The love of my life went out and did the same thing, since he noticed that we're running out of shampoo. Upon returning home we've had my new set, his new set and, as it turns out, another set that was bought before, after a similar mishap, and put away. They were all good brands, better than what we currently had in our bath, thus I asked myself why and how it happened. I got my answer few days later when I was washing my hair and I caught myself thinking - "I can't wait to finish this bottle so I can start a new one!"
My beliefs and upbringing constructed me to be frugal! I was unsatisfied with the product I had, yet I couldn't bring myself up to throw it away.
This is how we mistreat ourselves, fail to raise our standards and graduate to the next level of mentality out of scarcity.
Can you relate?
Can't wait to finish this in order to do this!
This can apply to household and self-care items, to food on your plate, to emotions like joy or happiness...
What this is - is a simple condition/reward response, conditioned into you by your caretakers, family, society etc...
This is the rod that keeps you stable and plugging away towards your goals.
It becomes a coffin nail if it is unconscious to the point of mechanic and automatic behavior filled with suffering that is minimized and presented as necessary.
How much of it is choice, how much is simply conditioning?
Choose the experience of life for you. Leave that food on a plate, I'm sure you'd rather have it rot in the landfill rather than your stomach. Choose to use this new shampoo set that will make you feel amazing rather than used up.
Choose to be happy before you get that promotion. Choose to live full out before you meet that one person that makes your world sparkle!
Choose the authentic you.
What if I'll need this later?
Another thought that turns creative chaos into explosion at a noodle factory: what if? What if I will need this stapler, that I haven't used in two years to staple a poster to the wall for a birthday party, held at my neighbors house in case he runs out of thumbtacks, nails or tape and I know he does not have a stapler! Yeah! And even though I do have thumbtacks, nails and tape - I will find this specific stapler and use it to nail that poster to the wall!! I'll keep it until then...
5 years later - you throw away that fucking stapler!
Throw it away.
I'll do it later.
There is nothing more permanent than a temporary decision. Read that one again.
Usually this leads to another 'later' thing to another and so on until one day you find your socks in your bathroom drawer next to your toothpaste. The 'later' snowball turns into an avalanche of things to do, places to be and eventually bills to pay.
This pattern most often stems from childhood where a caretaker would clean up the mess after a child, instead of having a child clean up a mess themselves. It sometimes stems from lack of time, desire of a clean house or sheer belief in delusion of child's incapability of cleaning up after themselves. There may be other reasons, however, majority of people I've worked with - this was the case.
The underlying thought pattern becomes 'eventually this will be taken care of' because most certainly it always had. After living on their own most people realize that things rarely get resolved on their own with a functional outcome, because the person to take care of this outcome has to be themselves!
Thus, anytime the thought 'it will get done later’ comes over the first response should be - when, since I'm the only one who'll actually do it?
Too many things too little space.
Every thing needs it's place at the right time. Having your good pair of scissors hanging on a wall in the hall is half of the battle - returning them to their place after each use is another.
In order to create a clean house each item must have its place and be returned to it after use. If you have too many things without their place - it's a recipe for clutter. Having too many items that have a place yet they were not returned after use - that, my friends, is creative chaos :-)
The rule in any house should be: figure out where you will store it before you buy it. If there isn't a specific place in you dwelling for the purchase, chances of you using it and keeping it later are slim. Assign your clutter space at the right time and you'll be surprised how quickly your disorganization will turn unknotted.