My obsession with the one: You Are What You Attract.

This seems to be the most simple of the rules - you are what you attract. If you find yourself complaining that you never seem to be attracting good dating prospects or all the good ones are taken - what does that mean to you?
If you are what you attract, then if all the good ones are taken, does that make you the bad one?
If all your dating prospects have commitment issues, why do you think it's only them?

Early on I've asked myself a question: if I am a good person why am I unhappy?

Back then I just got out of a string of bad relationships: a narcissist, a sociopathic liar followed by a relapsed alcoholic with a borderline personality disorder (who blamed me for his relapse). I started pondering upon the quote "you are what you attract" so if I keep on attracting these men, what's my pattern? The answer was - I found these men psychologically appealing. Did that mean that something was wrong with me? The answer was - maybe. Long story short: I went to therapy and spent 4.5 years celibate and practically dating free. I recommend that to everyone - that's what made a great coach (I hope you know I'm just messing with you)
During my years of self discovery my driving belief was that the more I figure myself out, more structure I give my psyche and more dysfunction I take away - the higher are chances of me attracting the like partner with a sound structure who'd be dysfunction free.

I can vouch for this because it worked for me and many other people I've worked with.

Throughout my years of learning I went on dates purely for research purpose. My quota was to highlight and understand the following aspects: if this is what I attracted what do & don't I like about this mirror presented to me at the moment. I was building relationships sometimes that wouldn't last (with mutual consent), just to have a point of reference in regards to where I am in my progress.

I used myself as a number one evaluation tool of what works, what doesn't and what needs work.

Before I was able to attract my amazing soulmate I already knew what will work in the relationship for me, what won't and what will need communication and negotiation. I cannot stress enough the importance of this work.

People think that the one is there to make them whole and it couldn't be farther from the truth. One and one make two and those two give from abundance because they're whole! A half and half will barely produce a one, because they don't even know what that one looks like. They maybe halfs of differently sized wholes, their giving to each other will likely be born of scarcity thus birthing more scarcity in their lives. There are many relationship-poor couples out there and this is why divorce rate is this high in this country.

We as individuals react to what we like in others and what we don't like. What we like in others we like in ourselves. What we hate in others we have in ourselves and it goes against our values.

Anytime you react negatively to someone else's action or behavior it is the perfect time to give thanks to the mirror presented to you, go within yourself and figure out why that specific event has triggered you.